Well, I finally quit my job after a year and half of agonizing hell.

To anyone thinking about getting into state work or a desk job in general..... DON'T. Unless you have something else well planned out or you enjoy mind numbing work. I made the mistake of not making time for myself to accomplish anything or even make plans for the future to begin with. As a result I ended up working a regular 40 hr. work week with a bunch of bitter old hags and a few assholes and really only 2 or 3 people I would consider a joy to work with. Unfortunately, one moved, one died (which I was not aware of till last week) and one I don't see much of anymore.

So, between the incredibly overpowering urge to bash my head in between the metal filing drawers and the intense anxiety attacks increasing in frequency, decrease in mental and physical health, stress, and the nagging of friends, doctors, and family to get my ass out of there before I have a major break down, I decided it was time for a change. I gave my months notice and am anxiously waiting for the month to end.

I'm very excited about being able to stay home and learn how to take care of myself again. I'm hoping to start taking some classes this fall and see what area of study suits me. I would say I should not have put it off as long as I did but I'm glad I have. I never would have been able to take it seriously enough to do more than just get by. I've always wanted to go to college but I never FULLY grasped what doors are open and which are closed to you without any sort of education beyond high school till now. I just hope I'll be able to figure out a way to pay for it without taking out a loan.

Wish me luck.